2 Days to go – How has it gone so fast!?

So here I am, sat on my bed, covered with a duvet with no covers and looking into a bright white empty room with the dust shadows of the stuff I used to own. That’s right, I have packed all of my stuff and I’m now just living out of a backpack…. Or two, if you count my smaller one with stuff in it too, which I do…

Ouch my head 

I’m actually in shock, and it isn’t because I was thrown around by multiple different high-octane rollercoasters today at Thorpe Park but because the time that it has taken for this point to come around has come so quickly that its left me wondering what I have done with my time off. Two weeks ago I quit my job and since then I have been unemployed and beginning my journey. I have endeavoured to see as many people as I could in this time, including old friends from the town where I grew up, my grandparents on the other side of the country, my nieces and nephews and my friends in my local city (the best city in Wales) Cardiff.

During these few weeks I had a list and if you have read any other of my blogs you will all know that it looked a bit like this:

• Sell my Car (KINDA URGENT)
• Buy visa for Australia
• Find my passport
• Decide what I’m taking
• Store, Sell or donate my belongings.
• Communicate my travels to my bank.
• Learn Thai
• Get some currency? (Do I have to do this still?)
• Find my passport
• Print official documents & copies etc.
• Buy my mum a birthday present
• Pay off my Full moon party hostel
• Get Hench
• Say goodbye to people
• Travel insurance
• Plan my leaving party thing
• Be homeless
• FIND MY PASSPORT!

Well it now looks like this:

• Sell my Car (KINDA URGENT) 
• Buy visa for Australia
• Find my passport
• Decide what I’m taking
• Store, Sell or donate my belongings.
• Communicate my travels to my bank.
• Learn Thai (Sa wad dee Khrup)
• Get some currency? (Do I have to do this still?)
• Find my passport
• Print official documents & copies etc.
• Buy my mum a birthday present
• Pay off my Full moon party hostel
• Get Hench ( Lets pretend this didn’t exist)
• Say goodbye to people
• Travel insurance
• Plan my leaving party thing
• Be homeless
• FIND MY PASSPORT!

Seeing red is often seen as a negative, so maybe I should have made the text a different colour but for me this means so much! This means that I have been able to write a list, follow it and achieve my goal, not just achieve my goal but go through with it. Part of me always thought I would chicken out right before the time came (there’s still time left) but this isn’t because I’m a wimp with no balls, it’s because I don’t/didn’t trust my judgement enough to let myself make a very clear and public mistake. People keep reassuring me that what I have planned is not a mistake and I will have the best time of my life and god damn-it, two days to go and I’m actually starting to believe them.

 

My Instagram is full of soppy posts about how I’ll miss my friends, and family and Cardiff because I really genuinely will, I didn’t realise what I enjoyed so much about my time here until I started to realise I was going to lose it.

I’m not dying – “YOU’RE NOT DYING!”

I need to keep reminding myself that this isn’t the be all and end all, I’m having a break, a holiday, dare I say it…. A gap year and I will enjoy my time, experience the world and come back a rounder (fat) person. If anyone is out there thinking about it and you continually doubt yourself, doubt your finances, passion and drive then gimme a message and we can chat because even though I put a brave face on – I have had my melt downs and I have needed certain people in my life to calm me down – they know who they are.

 

The first leg of my journey is going to be a bit of a pig and I think I’ll learn from my mistake, chose money over time and I think I’ll regret the 5 hours early vie agreed to arrive in the airport because my partner in crime is worried we’ll miss our flight, in fairness I’m kind of worried too.

My journey starts now… come with me and see how it pans out.